“Insults are like bad coins; we cannot help their being offered us, but we need not take them.”
C. H. Spurgeon
These situations are like "little murders" as these are intended to insult, humiliate or embarrass us.These people attack our self confidence and self esteem.They "murder "what we have worked on so hard.They shake our personality, our confidence and shatter the peace of life.they hurt our feelings for no reason.such people have their own problems.They are sick.Instead of dealing with their problems and coming up with resolution,they opt to insult and hurt our feelings.They peel off our ego and ourself too.
It is always advised that remove yourself from their presence.
Is it so easy? is it so simple?I doubt.Most of us just put up with these humiliating put-downs, but that only encourages them.Sometimes it is advised that, the only way to avoid these put-downs is to avoid those delivering them. such people should be forced to realize that ,it is an unacceptable behaviour.The barbs only work if you react and show them how upset you are.We should assert ourself and tell them it is an unacceptable behavior. we shoud teach such people how to treat us, so we need to teach them that these “little murders” are painful, humiliating, and need to be stopped.
Here is one of my favorite story:
There was once a great warrior. His reputation extended far and wide throughout the land and many students gathered to study under him. Though quite old, he still adept at martial arts and, despite his age, the legend was that he could defeat any adversary.
One afternoon, a young warrior, known for his complete lack of scruples, arrived in the village.
The young warrior had never lost a fight.
Along with his strength, he had an uncanny ability to spot and exploit any weakness in an opponent. He would wait for his opponent to make the first move, thus revealing a weakness, and then would strike with merciless force and lightning speed. No one had ever lasted with him in a match beyond the first move.
The young warrior had heard of the old master’s reputation was determined to be the first man to defeat the till then invincible great master.
The brash young warrior challenged the old master to a fight. Much against the advice of his concerned students, the old master gladly accepted the young warrior's challenge.
All villagers eagerly gathered in the village square to witness the bout.
As the two squared off for battle, the young warrior began to hurl insults at the old master. The young warrior threw dirt and spat in the master’s face and tried his utmost to goad and incite the master to make the first move.
But the old warrior merely stood there motionless and calm.
For hours the young warrior provoked the master. He verbally abused the master with every curse and insult known to mankind and even insulted the master’s ancestors, but the old man kept smiling and remained impassive.
Finally, as the sun started setting, the young warrior started feeling exhausted and humiliated. Gradually comprehension dawned on the young warrior and he knew that he was defeated so he bowed before the master and feeling shamed he left the village.
Disappointed that the master had received so many insults and provocations, the students gathered around the old master and questioned him, “How could you bear such indignity...? Why didn't you use your sword and fight the insolent youth...? It would have been better if you lost the fight instead of displaying such cowardice in front of us all...?”
“If someone comes to you with a gift, and you do not accept it, to whom does the gift belong...?” asked the master.
“To the giver, the one who tried to give the gift,” replied one of his students.
“The same goes for envy, anger and insults,” said the master, “If you do not accept these gifts of abuse, invective and insults, they continue to belong to the one who delivers them...!”